How to ask if a place is haunted

Person: © kerismaker via canva.com. Ghost: ©Mary Pope-Handy

Ever wonder the best approach on how to ask if a place is haunted? Today I’ll share a few tips on what has worked for me.

Needless to say, this isn’t a conversation for every business or home that someone visits. But if something comes up on your radar, maybe it’s worth a gentle inquiry.

How to ask if a place is haunted: ease into it

About half of the population doesn’t believe in ghosts, and some of them may get upset if someone even broaches the subject. As much as possible,  it’s best to easy into the question and not blurt out (as I did more than once) the question when a place seemed like there were spirits lingering.

If the home or business is older or historic, and it feels like there could be a presence, a warm compliment and gentle inquiry may work if you’re asking someone open to it and if that person knows much. For best results, I strongly advise doing this in person and not over the phone, in an email, etc.

Example:  “This is a gorgeous old building / home / library / church! Do you know if there are any interesting stories?”

Depending on your audience, you may get a quirky history story that’s fun to hear, or you may get more. I’ve had both happen. Open ended questions are usually best.

Commercial buildings

With commercial buildings, such as restaurants and shops, managers may have a concern that if the building is reputed to be haunted that it will drive away business. (In reality, it tends to bring business in.)  In my experience, speaking with employees who are not so high up in the chain of command has brought about better information. At certain large estates, a groundskeeper or someone working in the recesses of the estate may quietly share something if it’s out of the earshot of a higher up.

Of course, it depends on the person you ask. Some are naturally more open, others more cautious, and, as mentioned above, half think that the mere idea of ghosts is bogus.

Homes

When it comes to a person’s abode, haunting can be more of a touchy subject. How to ask if a place is haunted when most people worry about a stigma (“if I sell, I’ll have to tell”) or that friends and family will think they are nuts? Being tactful about a suspicion of a haunting may not be enough.

In those cases, I’ve found it best to let them bring up their own situation. They may be comfortable doing so after the topic of ghostly experiences has been broached and they feel safe sharing.

Most of the time, ghost encounters are not much of a big deal as people may presume from movies. The experiences that people have told me about include these:

• cold spots in places
• electrical disturbances (such as TVs going off and on by themselves, lights turning off and on, etc.)
• a wind inside, when the windows are closed and HVAC turned off
• things dropping (for instance, items on a dresser that are nowhere near the edge suddenly lifting up and dropping onto the floor)
• the sounds of things crashing or dropping – but nothing moved, or the classic footsteps when no one is there (to me that is creepier)
• something or someone moving, seen out of peripheral vision, but not directly in the center of the field of vision
• dogs barking or pets reacting to something unseen
• the feeling that someone is looking at you

Some of these are pretty innocuous, and others not so fun. Only once did someone tell me that she got pushed while on stairs (and it wasn’t in her own home).

Several times people have told me that if they didn’t like the behavior of their unseen resident they told them to “knock it off” if they want to stay – and often that’s enough to make the home quiet and peaceful again.